The greatest sports men and women of the world are currently a part of the greatest show on Earth. Let’s stop in on The Beijing Olympics and peek behind its shimmering silk facade.

As if you haven’t guessed, I’m not really the sporty type. Shocking, isn’t it? I lived in the middle of Sydney for Australia’s Olympics, back in 2000, and the only fond memory I have is how nice it was to get smashed with my friends on my Darlinghurst rooftop, watching the lasers shooting off Centerpoint Tower for the nightly Olympic light show. I do also remember being in a cocktail bar, during the opening ceremony, where I unfortunately looked up, over my gin & tonic, to a plasma, just in time to behold Nikki Bloody Webster and some ridiculous rock-eisteddford-on-acid representation of Australia as a country which had long achieved harmony with its Indigenous people – who we all loved very much, and who loved us back, in return. Yeah, right.